Television

Mission UnBearable #5

LN Lupa

29 Jul 2025 — 2 min read

weenatexpo

Season 4, Episode 5: “Replicants”

This episode was a collection of random scenes stuffed into a pillowcase. And the pillowcase has insufferable taste in music.

I resisted writing this review. I dreaded writing this review. I struggled internally about how to make this review entertaining, let alone informative.

I guess there were some fun scenes. Richie tries to explain the baroque quasi-familial relationships connecting him and Carmy: that was a funny moment that brought to mind the baroque quasi-familial relationships which connect me and my family with a host of interesting randos.

Syd jokes around with Luca the new stage/old mentor: man, Ayo Edebiri and Will Poulter, as good actors, had electric chemistry. If only this were a TV show that wanted to show us entertaining interactions between interesting characters, instead of the extension of the New Yorker fiction issue by other means.

Marcus and his friend, some guy played by Carmen Christopher, reflect on selling Marcus’ mom’s house: perfectly solid. Marcus’ complicated feelings about his very sick mom passing away after many difficult years are humanely rendered.

Carmy going to the Frank Lloyd Wright house: oh fuck off. I’ve had enough of this guy. Oh ho ho he repents of changing the menu every single day; oh ho ho he goes to Al-Anon to hear about somebody else’s messed up brother; oh ho ho I DON’T CARE. In this way The Bear has created the most realistic chef ever, because he’s so annoying that if I saw him collapsed on the Brown Line tracks, soon to be crushed, I wouldn’t intervene.

The writers made Tina give Carmy a pep talk this episode and I got so mad I almost blacked out. No, Carmy, you’re not awesome at heart. You’re a fucked up dude who’s driving this business into the ground with obviously dumb plays, and there’s no reason that Tina, whose life you have measurably worsened, should have to massage your ego. Sometimes when you feel bad about yourself, that’s the correct feeling. That’s what teaches you to be better next time.

Anyway, we see Natalie’s baby and it’s a baby. Ebraheim’s business mentor suggests franchising The Beef sandwich window. Syd’s dad has a heart attack and goes to the hospital. I expect all these events to recur in the remaining episodes, but my lack of interest beggars beliefs.

Listen: I went back and watched the first episode of the first season recently. I was starting to gaslight myself about whether the show had ever been good, and I needed to restore my foundation. Yes! The pilot was good! The montage had a purpose! The characters had conflicts and chemistry! Lines were intentionally funny! The episode possessed both form and function! Where did it all go…?

In the first season, my heart couldn’t take the anxiety of the commercial kitchen drama. Now my heart can’t take the false hope that the show will be reliably entertaining.